Archives for May 2016

Living in Lyme “hell”

Almost 3 years ago now, Zach and I worked one last summer at our beloved Summer Camp. That summer was supposed to be the best yet; we were both on senior staff, all of our closest friends would be there and as soon as camp was over we would be taking the California road trip of our dreams. Halfway through the summer, right around the time of our anniversary, Zach became ill. His symptoms were very much meningitis-like, but when he went to the camp doctor he was told if he was vaccinated then it wasn’t meningitis and probably just the flu. He was sent on his way with some tylenol for the extreme back and neck pain (he worked in climbing so he “could have pulled something”) and orders to rest. After over a week of this I vividly remember we were sitting in my car and I was looking up his symptoms online. One thing kept coming up: Lyme Disease. It made sense. Zach worked in a wooded area, we were in North-East Pennsylvania, and he spent his days outside. After quite a few warmer winters, the deer population was out of control (I had never seen so many deer before!) so vector borne viruses like Lyme, were at an all time high. I kept reading words like “epidemic” yet no one even thought to test Zach for Lyme. He did not think it was Lyme because he never had a rash or found a tick on his body. If you read up on Lyme, the literature almost makes it seem that you have to present the classic bullseye rash if you have Lyme. This went on for two months, and it was really scary to see such a fit and active young man literally just start to melt away. Zach is not a big guy to begin with, but all of his clothes started falling off of him, he was constantly tired, battling stomach issues and dizziness and he was also impossible to be around. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt knowing that something was going on but I also seriously considered leaving him because it was so bad and he kept brushing off how awful he felt. When we were in California, he almost fainted 3 minutes into a hike- this is a guy who can get up any random day and run 20+ km with no complaints. It just wasn’t right.

When Zach returned home, he went to another doctor. He was prescribed beta blockers (a bandaid solution) for his irregular heart beat. It was only after he insisted (or I insisted while on the phone with him) that they test him for Lyme.

Not surprisingly, all of the tests came back positive.

May is Lyme Disease Awareness Month and this post is really all about that, to make you aware of what Lyme can look like. Lyme carrying ticks have been confirmed in Toronto (not surprising considering how many cases have been reported by our neighbours directly to the south and our warm winter) so it is inevitable that if you spend time outdoors, you will come in contact with ticks.

Today, Zach is here to tell his story about his experience with the disease. Please read on and share.


Facial Palsy- one of the many symptoms

Facial Palsy- one of the many symptoms

So this is a story about Lyme disease. This is a story about the often misdiagnosed tick-borne disease that’s quietly causing disarray in the medical community. I’m not going to speak in absolute medical terms here (I’m not a doctor); I’d rather speak about this from a personal side. So here we go.

Late summer 2013 – I had just finished working my last of 3 summers at Island Lake, where I met my amazing wife Ali. This summer at camp was unlike any of the other 2 summers though. It will always be remembered, for me, as one of the worst summers of my life, and now how I wanted my last summer to go. However, camp wasn’t ruined for me because of the usual reasons – a relationship gone wrong or an insufferable boss. That honour belongs to Lyme disease. I’ll remember the sequence of events forever, like they happened just the day before. It started with back pain and progressed through various other types of symptoms until I literally hated everything and everyone in my life. Hate is a strong word, but the irritability associated with Lyme disease is the real deal. For example, on our post-camp vacation in California, Ali stepped on a wasp, barefoot while walking along the beach. In a Lyme-induced rage, I told her off and made sure she kn ew that she was inconveniencing me by being a human that feels pain. Lyme-me was a truly dickish guy. So this leads me to the bulk of the story.

What exactly was I feeling? There’s no good answer here for what I was feeling throughout this whole experience. With Lyme disease, it really seems like the Universe throws the kitchen sink at you. I mentioned back pain (which made me double over) and I wish that was the worst of it. They say that Lyme starts off like meningitis and then it’s everybody’s guess, what’s next. Well, that’s true. I had:

•Fevers

•Irritability/hatred towards everything

•Diabetes-like bladder control

•Hot flashes and dizzy spells that ended with me blacking out at really inopportune times

•Night sweats

•Facial palsy

•Heart palpitations caused by fluid and swelling around my heart

•Constant light-headedness

•No appetite (and resulting weight loss)

•Depression

•Insomnia

•Nausea

•Fatigue

•Slight alcohol intolerance

•Etc. Etc. Etc., the list goes on

But forget about the symptoms. They’re scary as a whole and all, but the scariest thing about Lyme is that there are no standard symptoms. This disease is f*****g scary; absolutely scary. And it breeds a sense of hopelessness in most of its prisoners. My treatment was gruelling (I’m not trying to compare this to chemotherapy, etc.), with a 3 week oral antibiotic regimen followed by a 3 week IV antibiotic regimen with twice-a-day infusions, after my EKG and echo revealed worsening heart irregularities. To this day, I assume that treatment completely worked, and mostly, I do live a normal life. It wasn’t an easy recovery process and it did take some time to feel normal again. However, I notice tiny things that are different about this “new” normal life – I’m more generally fatigued, I struggle with my alcohol tolerance, my digestion has never quite been the same and every so often I feel my heart pumping abnormally.

But in classic Lyme fashion, that was the treatment specific to me. Even the treatment is completely different depending on the individual and how early it’s caught. I caught mine early on, at the beginning of the second stage (Lyme has 3 stages) thanks to Ali’s persistence (she knew this was Lyme from day one somehow), even though I didn’t have the “bullseye rash”, which actually only appears in about 25% of reported cases.

So I somehow caught this mysterious disease, which has mysterious symptoms and doesn’t have a standardized treatment. Fun right? Ali and I struggled through this process. She was understandably worried, which led to all of our long distance phone calls being hijacked by conversation about the best Lyme-literate doctors in Chicago and the most recent research. It was so hard to go through all of this and not be in the same place. There was so much that was unknown and neither of us had any sort of answer as to what was going to happen. It just seemed like it was one piece of bad news after another and everyone was dancing in circles not sure how to proceed. I’m so thankful to have Ali in my life, and I’m especially lucky to have had her throughout that whole process. Who knows how long it could have gone on had she not insisted that it was Lyme.  It was also unbelievably difficult to go through this while battling with insurance companies (something that is still going on to this day- Canadians, never take your health care for granted).

Once I started working with an infectious disease doctor things got a lot easier. Finally someone had some answers and was able to help me through the healing process. I was grateful for my doctors who helped get me better, but I know that a lot of people often feel failed by the medical community when it comes to Lyme. This is definitely a problem in Canada, where there are not as many confirmed cases and the health care system lacks knowledge.

Nearly November and starting to feel better

Nearly November and starting to feel better

Since there is so much unknown about Lyme, it seems that Doctors don’t really test for it unless you say “test me for Lyme disease”. The biggest thing that I want everyone to take from this is to always remember to be an advocate for yourself and your own health. There are thousands and thousands of cases that are not diagnosed every single year due to the ambiguous symptoms. This can go on for years and only gets worse over time. The number of reported cases is shockingly high but it is estimated that the actual number of cases is probably double those reported.

Doctors are amazing people, but it is so important to speak up and trust your gut, not just taking what someone else tells you for the truth. If you have meningitis or even mono like symptoms that will not go away, please talk to your doctor about Lyme. Tests can also come back as false negatives with Lyme as well, and there isn’t a gold standard for testing. There are a lot of unknown and scary factors surrounding Lyme.

Remember, most people won’t present a bullseye rash, this is something that a lot of doctors don’t always seem to know. This may be especially true in a place like Toronto where a lot of cases have not popped up yet. If you spend time outdoors and have been in a grassy or wooded area, check yourself for ticks, this is what a tick looks like. Have your partner check you for ticks. Double check even. If you find one, this is how you remove it. Take it to your doctor. Wear long pants if you are out hiking, or clothes that are light in colour so you can see a tick. Check your pets for ticks too. Also remember that sometimes they are incredibly small, the size of a grain of sand, a pin point or a poppy seed. If you have a lot of dark hair like I do, you may never find a tick. This is why it is so important to always listen to your body.

For more information please visit these sites:

Canadian Lyme Disease Foundation

Ministry of Health and Long-Term Care

Center for Disease Control and Prevention

 

Reflections on “Slow” Running

I was a little hesitant to write this post. Not because I am embarrassed by my speed (or lack thereof) but more so because I don’t want anyone out there to feel like they are not a great runner based on their speed.  Also, I hate using the word slow (I really tried hard to find a better word for the title) and even more than that, I hate using the word to describe my own running pace, using it as a justification as to why I can’t run with someone or even worse, using it to dismiss and diminish an accomplishment.  What does slow mean anyway? Slow compared to what? Everyone is slow compared to someone else. But, everyone is also fast compared to someone else. More importantly, the majority of us are fast compared to when we started. I’m going to throw the word away. My speed shouldn’t come with negative connotations and it certainly shouldn’t define who I am as a runner. I’m taking back the negativity that I have put on myself for being “slow” and hope that in doing so, I can inspire others to do the same.

As a “slow” runner, I often have had a hard time even calling myself a runner at all. When people tell me they are impressed with what I do I often downplay it saying “ya, but I’m really slow”. The first time I ran a 5k in under 30mins and the first time I ran 10k in under an hour were significant events that I immediately brushed off once I realized how easy that is for some people.

I just want to clarify something; slow does not equal easy. Slow also does not equal unfit. I promise you, when I am out there running 5:45-6:00 minute kilometres, I am giving it my all. I know that I can say the same for many others, especially those who may not be able to pace alongside me.

I also don’t like the word “jog”. Once, when talking to a non-runner about a race they said to me “how long does it take you to run a half marathon?” and when I said “probably about 2 hours, 15 minutes” they responding by saying “oh, so you don’t really run then, you jog”. It took everything in me to not bluntly say “no you jerk, I run, and I run all out, that is just my pace”. (They admitted they had never run further than 5k so I cut them some slack.)

Last weekend when I finished the Sporting Like 10k race in 56:52, it was a huge personal best. I didn’t hit a single km over a 5:45 pace. Running doesn’t come easy for me. Or at least, there was a time not too long ago when it didn’t. I wasn’t one of those people who could just tie up my shoes and get out there for an after work 5k run. It took me some time to run 5k continuously. There was a time when I didn’t think I could ever run more than 5km and the thought of doubling that distance made my head spin. When I finished my first 10k run I honestly could not believe it, (see below) and I think it took me about 1 hour, 20 minutes. I also wasn’t sure if I could take another step or run 10k ever again. The first time I ran the Sporting Life 10k race a few weeks later, I remember thinking I just wanted to run a 6:45 pace. I was very happy when I finished in 1:06 because at the time, it was faster than I ever thought I could be. It made me feel like anything was possible, even at that speed. However, I couldn’t even imagine doubling THAT distance. But somehow I did, and over the last two years I have run 4 half-marathons. I honestly would have laughed in your face if you told me 3 years ago I would run that far and that I’d be training for a marathon in 2016. Yet, here I am. This is what I’m keeping in mind as I start my training for Chicago

First time I ran 10km!

First time I ran 10km!

I was inspired to write this post after reading this article a few weeks ago. It really spoke to me and made me realize that my negative self-talk about my running was only hurting my potential. It was time to reframe how I felt about my speed.

“From a pure performance perspective, thinking negatively can inhibit you from achieving your potential. While thinking you’re slow may seem harmless, every time you preface a statement with the phrase, “I know I am slow, but …” you condition your mind to believe that you can never be fast.

Countless research studies in sports psychology have proven the power of positive thinking and self-talk. Athletes who go into a workout or race with positive thoughts perform significantly better and more consistently than those who approach workouts and races with a negative attitude.

Reframing your belief in yourself starts before a workout or race. If you’re negative and lack self-confidence throughout your training, no amount of pre-race self-talk and mental preparation is going to undo weeks or months of self-deprecation. Positive thinking starts with how you frame every aspect of your running.”

This post is for all you runners out there who have ever felt left behind, who have ever been afraid to run with a group, or who have ever felt less proud of finishing a race based on your time. Perhaps, this is also a little pep talk to my internal self consciousness about my own speed.

You are not slow. You are running. You are doing something amazing for your body and your mind. You are not less of a runner because you can’t keep up with others. In fact, I’d argue that you are MORE of a runner because it takes all that much more determination to go on once everyone has left you in their dust. You will never be an elite runner, you may never run a Boston qualifier. But it doesn’t matter. Each and every time you get out there on the pavement you are winning. You are pushing yourself to be better, pushing yourself to keep going, tapping into your inner grit when everyone around you makes it look so easy.

When you start running with a friend who isn’t a runner and they quickly become faster than you, don’t be jealous, celebrate their success and the fact that they are teaching themselves that same perseverance that you have. When you run a race and the crowd is all gone by the time you finish, don’t be discouraged, be proud that you kept going for that much longer than everyone else.

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When the amazing runners in your club get shout outs for amazing PBs and running cool races, don’t feel ignored or invisible. Know that this keeps you humble and you don’t need the attention to know you have accomplished something amazing. There is always going to be someone who is faster than they are, much like there will always be those who are faster than you. Remind yourself that there will also always be someone who is not as fast as you. Encourage them, run with them, help them understand that they are still crushing it. When you talk about your running, don’t downplay it. Own it. Shout it to the world. You are a runner, you are a 10k finisher, a half marathon finisher, a marathon finisher and no one can take that away from you.

Perhaps one of the greatest things about this sport is that it has become accessible to everyone. You no longer have to be at the top. Besides the elites, we are all in for our own good and to compete against who we were yesterday. We aren’t going to the olympics and we aren’t winning National titles or breaking records. Even the elites face the same fears and challenges that the rest of us do and that makes us all in this together.

My greatest joy is convincing new runners that they too can run a race they once thought was not possible. It’s not about how fast you go, but about learning how to push yourself to do things you thought you weren’t capable of. It’s about the feeling of crossing the finish line, or simply getting up one day and having an amazing run with your crew, running buddy, or just by yourself with your thoughts.

I recently spoke with a pacer about how being a “slow” runner means we actually have to have more endurance- while some can run a half marathon in an hour and a half, we have to pound the pavement and keep going for over two hours. 

But let’s stop calling ourselves slow. We aren’t. We are fast. We are faster than we were last year. We are faster than we were last month. We ran a faster race than we did a few weeks ago. We are faster than when we started. We are fast.

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Get out there and be proud of your 30 minute or even 40 minute 5k, you’re still doing better than everyone else on the couch!

You are a runner, and you’re an amazing runner too.

 

Saying yes to every opportunity

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I tend to be a pretty positive person but as anyone else who has been on the job hunt knows, it can be hard to keep your head up while searching for the next opportunity, particularly if you work in a pretty small field like I do. If one thing is true, job hunting isn’t as simple as just sending off resumes and cover letters and waiting to hear back (although that is how I got my last job, so I’m just going to assume that was my one lucky chance and it probably won’t happen again).

In recent weeks, I have really been striving to just get myself out of the house and meet people, regardless of whether or not it will help my job search. I think the hardest thing for me about being at home is that I don’t get to talk to adults all day (just the cat) and as an extrovert who gets my energy from other people, this isn’t easy. Hence, getting out of the house and meeting people. Besides, you never know what can come your way just by getting out there and having an open mind.

A few weeks back I signed up for a lunch n’ learn at BrainStation, which is an amazing learning space here in Toronto offering workshops, courses and other great offerings (like yoga! And bonus, there is a great coffee shop attached to it!) The lunch n’ learn was with the experiential marketing specialist from Vega, Kelsey Reidl. I signed up because I love Vega and their products, and for 10 bucks how could I say no to a delicious lunch and the chance to sit in a room with potentially a bunch of other wellness folk? I was happy to learn that Kelsey and I have a lot in common- we are both actively involved in the fitness community here in Toronto, love connecting with people and enjoy a good cup of coffee!

As Kelsey told the story of her journey and what steps and opportunities led her to her role with Vega I found myself deeply inspired and feeling a little more hopeful about my own current job hunt. But before I ramble on about it, I am overjoyed to share that Kelsey is here herself today to talk about her journey in her own words- how saying yes and taking chances can not only lead you to your dream job but impact your life in so many ways. Read on and prepare to be inspired- whether you are job hunting or not! (also, I’m glad that I’ve been succeeding at #4!)


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I am so excited to be guest posting on Happy Fit and Free today! Like Ali, I’m a local fitness and health enthusiast currently living in Toronto. When I moved to Toronto I had no idea what the journey I was about to embark on would look like, but with constant curiosity and a positive attitude I made sure that each day included some sort of adventure. What’s more is that on this path, I truly have found myself to be at a place in my life and in my journey that I truly feel happy, have communities in fitness, and am creating more and more freedom to live my life to the fullest each day!

Today, and for the past few years, I’ve been hanging out in what I’ll call my ‘yes phase’. This phase of my life was really ignited when I moved to Toronto and knew next to nobody, and was not familiar with my surroundings.

What I’m chatting about is not just applicable to those of you in new places though. By turning on your ‘yes phase’ you are embracing a chapter of your life that can bring about great shifts and welcomed changes to your routine. Perhaps you are that someone who is ready for more, whatever that may be, and can find inspiration to look for it through some of tips.

As I reflect on what got me to where I am today as a marketing specialist, nutritionist, and lifestyle coach, it was simply about saying ‘yes’ to the right opportunities and really believing that the more that I put myself out there, the more opportunity could (and would!) come my way.

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I’m going to elaborate more specifically on action items that I took to launch me towards more success in all areas of my life;

Other people will believe in you, before you believe in yourself

When people ask me to speak at an event or to help them with their nutrition, I still have a moment of wondering why in the world I would be the right person. There’s an element of self-doubt or fear that many of us are challenged with on a daily basis that we need to get over!

When people ask me to speak at an event or to help them with their nutrition, I still have a moment of wondering why in the world I would be the right person. There’s an element of self-doubt or fear that many of us are challenged with on a daily basis that we need to get over!

Others will often believe in you and take a leap on your skills before you even solidify that you’re great at them, but I speak from experience when I say it doesn’t matter!

In these moments of being challenged with an opportunity or the moments of being believed in to take a leap, you MUST say yes and do it whether the confidence is there or not. That can be practiced and worked on after you commit with a ‘yes’. All that it takes for others to believe strongly in you is for you to exude your unique confidence and skill set with grace

Join a new community

If you’re stuck in your longtime friend bubble, it’s time to push along and expand your network! Opportunities present themselves when you join new communities and establish relationships with key people.

As I mentioned, coming to a new city with very few friends and family was daunting to me. I had this hunger to connect with like-minded people though, so I decided to pursue some new communities that would help me meet others. For me that included joining and working at a small gym, attending evening classes at a local tech school, asking to join various online communities (i.e. a women’s networking group on FB), and even developing relationships through social platforms like Instagram.
Community is such an important piece of our lives that we often neglect as young and independent people. But remember that it takes a village to raise a child, and it takes a community to propel you to the top…

Share your story

Are you an introvert or extrovert? Maybe you’re a combo, but regardless of what your personality type is I want you to spend an afternoon crafting your story or your elevator pitch.
I used to hang around an amazing lady who was well connected in the health industry. When she would introduce me to any of her friends, she would go beyond just ‘Kelsey this is Jane, Jane this is Kelsey’. She went deeper and always gave a quick bio on each person she was connecting.
It would be something like ‘Kelsey this is Jane, my former roommate who runs the blog The Fitness Connection and adopted that cute rescue dog I showed you a picture of. And Jane, Kelsey is my colleague at work and we were the ones who created the video on how to execute a great social media campaign’. See the difference?
First, I think it’s important to start introducing our friends with more than a name. Give them context and bring them to life so that conversation flows immediately after an introduction.
Second, and the point to the above story, is that we should start thinking about our own elevator pitch for introductions. If you’re stumped, think of what you’d want your friends to say about you or what qualities you aspire to have. Practice this 30 second pitch and live it out, every day. Remember that you are your own brand, and have an opportunity to sell yourself at every interaction. These interactions are what create opportunity.

Get out more

Still unsure of how you’re going to create more opportunity for yourself? Here’s the most difficult piece… You need to get out of your house more.
You can have the most crafted elevator pitch and be a member of the most influential community, but if you never physically show up you’re missing opportunity.

For example, when I pulled myself off the couch last week to attend a run club I ended up getting a wonderful introduction from a friend saying ‘Kelsey is a great sport nutritionist’. Not only did this run club allow me to join a new community, it allowed me to then share my story and background as a sport nutritionist with someone new, and therefore give people the opportunity to learn about my services and believe in me enough to hire me.

All of the pieces came together in that moment. And this is why it’s important to say yes to opportunity (the right ones anyway) and infuse a bit more hustle into your day if you’re looking to create connection.

I’ll leave you with a quote… “Most of what exists in the universe—our actions and all other forces, resources and ideas have little value and yields few result. On the other hand, a few things work fantastically well and have tremendous impact.” In other words this quote is the concept that 80% of our results come from 20% our efforts… so my advice to you is to start making more efforts.

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Kelsey’s Bio

Kelsey Reidl is a holistic nutritionist, fitness instructor, and business mentor for driven women who are ready to embrace a more natural life through clean nutrition + daily self-care. As a multi-passionate entrepreneur she keeps busy educating on essential oils + whole food nutrition, sweating at studios around the city, snapping photos of food, and checking out all of the amazing coffee shops around town. Follow her on instagram and twitter: @kelseyreidl

 

A Healthy Mother’s Day

Often times any sort of Holiday or celebration can side track our healthy lifestyle goals. Of course, a Holiday is definitely a good reason to indulge a little bit, but that doesn’t mean going all out. With mother’s day coming up this weekend, I know a lot of people (myself included) like to head out for a huge meal, or spoil mum with a feast of chocolate and cake (and wine!) at home. This year, I tried to keep it a little healthier as we planned what we were going to do. By no means was this my way of saying to my lovely mum that she needs to be healthier, but more so, she is just very much like me; health-conscious and tries hard to stay on track. I thought I would share it all with you here and perhaps inspire you to plan activities that are a little healthier but still centred around our superheroes, our Mums!

Take a trip to a Flower Market! On Saturday mum and I will be heading to the Blossom and Bloom Flower market here in Toronto at Union station. This will be a nice way to get in a bit of movement (walking there and back, and around the market), get outside, and allows us to spend some quality time together with nature, a proven way to reduce stress. Sure, mani pedis are fun, but that involves sitting down and inhaling nasty chemicals.

Photo from blossomandbloom.com

Photo from blossomandbloomshow.com

Brunch at Home: Instead of heading out to a restaurant where we will be likely to indulge in less-than healthy brunch food, I will be hosting a home made brunch right here for mum and grandma! On the menu; lemon ricotta coconut flour pancakes, egg and veggies frittata, fresh fruit salad and grapefruit juice (maybe with some champagne in it hehe). Making a brunch at home is a guaranteed way to have a healthier day, you know exactly what is going into everything you make and have more control over portion size as well.

Photo from healthyrecipeblog.com

Photo from healthyrecipeblog.com

Treats: instead of spoiling mum with tons of chocolate (she would kill me), I’m going to make these delicious looking vanilla macaroons made with genuine health fermented vegan protein + powder. These treats are loaded with healthy fats and protein and are sure to satisfy. I love this protein powder because mum, like me, often has a hard time digesting whey and soy. This powder is made from all veggie protein (no soy!) and fermented so you won’t be left feeling bloated after consuming. All the leftovers for mum obviously. I’ll also cut up and serve some of their amazing protein bars – these things are seriously delicious and taste like Candy. They also make a great alternative gift to chocolate for this health conscious mums out there 😉 Though, if you do want to spoil mum with chocolate I always recommend ChocoSol, of course!

Photo from meghantelpner.com

Photo from meghantelpner.com

Another great way to spoil mum without all the junk is buying her a gift that she can use instead of eat. I’ve had my eyes on these Rosefield watches and I think a lot of mums out there would love one!

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What are you doing to spoil your mum this Sunday?

P.S. Since I’m a foster mum to two puppies, do I get spoiled too? 😉

Redemption

“Hello fear, thank you for being here. You’re my indication that I’m doing what I need to do.” -Cheryl Strayed

On Sunday morning at about 8:25am I hurried into a crowd of people as it rained down on us. I was cold, shivering, wet and incredibly tired. I had slept about 4 and half hours the night before. I had acid reflux from the generous glasses of red wine I had the night before. My stomach didn’t feel quite right, my left contact was bugging me and I felt a little twang of pain in my right knee.

Fast forward to 2 hours and 15 minutes later, I’m soaking wet, super hungry, my makeup has run down my face, my right knee is throbbing, I have a terrible stitch in my side and can feel about 3 pulsing blisters on my feet. Yet, I am overjoyed. I just crossed the finish line of my 4th half-marathon, my second in 2 weeks, and I finally beat my PB from almost two years ago, something I’d been chasing ever since.

After my mishap in Montreal last week I kept oscillating between wanting to quit running and wanting to fight back and train harder. A lot of my running friends were running the GoodLife half marathon and I was honestly feeling a little jealous. I wanted to give it another go and be out there  on the course running with them. The course has a pretty big net downhill which appealed to me and I was kicking myself for running Montreal when I should have just signed up for GoodLife, on home turf.

“Why don’t you just do it?” a running friend asked me. No, that wasn’t a good idea, was it? I had just run a half marathon a few days ago. But….I wasn’t sore. In fact, I barely felt like I had been on a long training run (probably because I walked so much). Her voice was in my head all week. I couldn’t possibly do it could I? Was it really stupid if I did?

Something you may or may not know about me is that I am relentlessly determined, or maybe we could say stubbornly relentless (just ask my husband). Once I have an idea in my head, I can’t let it go. And so, I found myself toeing the start line on Sunday morning for the GoodLife half.

I cared a lot about this race, only I also didn’t really care at all. I was so terrified that it was going to be another disaster that I didn’t really tell anyone (me, not tell anyone? about running? unheard of). My fear almost kept me in a zen-like state. I figured I didn’t really have anything to lose though (except my pride, my ego, maybe my knee…) and did it anyway.

Of course I was hoping for that PB, but I honestly just didn’t really think it would happen after last week. After only really committing to running the race on Friday, I tried to approach Sunday with little to no strategy. I didn’t set any reminders to drink water on Saturday. I didn’t monitor what I ate. I drank wine. I went to bed late. I didn’t take any pre-race photos of my outfit the night before, or even really get my clothes ready (of course I threw together an outfit shot the morning of). I didn’t chug a bunch of water on Sunday morning. I didn’t eat what I normally would before a run. Instead, I ate what I wanted. An egg, a piece of toast to go with it and a half a piece of toast with peanut butter. The weather sucked, it was raining, grey, windy and pretty cold.

Haphazard Outfit Shot

Haphazard Outfit Shot

I drove up to the start line with two running friends and my friend Rachel and I decided that we would start together and hopefully stick with each other as long as we could. Before I knew it, we were off. We took it nice and slow, chatted away and in my head I was just treating it like a nice easy long run.

I had broken down this race into 3 separate parts and I had a plan to get through them all. Part 1 took us from the start line to km 6, Yonge and Sheppard to the area where the sporting Life 10k starts. The first 2km or so are gentle with a steep decline, BUT around km 3, that becomes a steep incline. This hill really is the only tough part of the race and I was pretty nervous about it. To me, this was going to be the biggest challenge and I just wanted to run it without stopping. I figured once I was over this hill, the worst would be behind me, and I was right. My plan for part 1 was to take it nice and easy and not stop. I had never run this stretch of Yonge and wanted to conserve my energy. I made it up the hill without walking. It was a doozy though and seemed to never end but oh man it felt good to reach the top. From there, I kept it slow and steady until we reached the Yonge and Blythwood area.

Once we reached the same area where the Sporting Life 10k starts, I knew it was time to coast. I was familiar with this area having run it many times (going both south and north) and was excited to have it fly by. I called this part 2, a nice easy downhill from about km 6 – km 15 or so, ending at King and River, right around my neighbourhood. This was my time to gain some speed and pick it up a bit and I did just that. In what felt like no time we had reached Rosedale Valley Road and km 11. I started to tire a little bit, but nothing extreme. The weather, while not ideal was actually feeling kind of nice at this point. It was cloudy so there was no sun beating down (I hate that when I run), and the rain had turned into a nice mist. Around km 13.5 I started to feel a bit light headed and started eating the banana brownie I had packed. At about km 15, the end of “section 2” where the Bayview Extension meets the King East area, my knee started feeling really off. It wasn’t bad enough to stop, but it was painful. I knew it was going to be an uncomfortable finish but didn’t think I’d be putting myself in any danger by continuing on. I tried to stretch it out as best I could as I ran by doing some weird hopping kicking movements that I can’t even really explain.

At about km 15.5 I saw Hubs smiling face and he jumped on the course with me to pace me to the end. This was part 3 for me, which spanned from King and River to Ontario Place. I knew this meant it was time to push it and finish strong but I tried to approached it nonchalantly, almost as if I were going for a 6k tempo run through my own neighbourhood as I would on any given day. I knew the route well and knew how quickly it would pass. I also knew this was going to be the hardest part for me. I have always struggled around this mark in any race. I saw my dad at km 17 when I was getting pretty tired and doing a sad limp run from my knee pain. His cheering definitely helped. I had to take it back a notch a few times during this part but I didn’t walk. I was so close to the end. Of course, at about km 19.5 I got a terrible stitch but I was so determined to run through it after making it so far. Right around the 20k mark it was almost unbearable, but it faded away to a dull ache after a couple hundred metres. Zach left the course just after this and I knew it was time to give it my all. I always try and sprint the last 500m, but this time I took off with about 700m to go and I don’t even know where I got the energy. I literally left everything out there on the course. This is always my favourite moment of a race and it always feels like the crowd is there roaring for just me. I knew I had achieved that PB and I pumped my fists up in victory as I crossed the line. I think I maybe even yelled “YES!”

I quickly realized that not only was this a PB, but I also had run a half for the very first time with NO walk breaks and even better, if my calculations were correct- I ran a negative split! It felt amazing!

I waited in line for my medal and immediately realized as I cooled down just how awful the weather hard turned again. Very quickly, I began shivering uncontrollably and I noticed that the wind was nearly  blowing over everything in its path. Still, the smile couldn’t be wiped from my face.  I obviously enjoyed a post-race coffee and butter tart to celebrate 🙂

Frozen but overjoyed

Frozen but overjoyed

Once home I was VERY happy to have a hot bath and the run already started to feel like a distant dream. Did that REALLY happen? It was such an amazing day and I continued the celebrations with a pizza and two beers on the couch in our cozy condo.

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Thank you to everyone for believing in me and for the congrats! I’m having a nice week of recovery and only running a few times because I am also running the Sporting Life 10k next week! It’s such a fun race and pretty much a guaranteed PB every year. After that, I’m going to step back a bit from running (maybe do a long run and an easy run every week) until I start my training for the Chicago Marathon in June. I figure this is a good time to really work and focus on my core strength (hello bathing suit season!) and maybe figure out what’s going on with my knee!

Sometimes, you just have to tap into that fear and show it who is boss.